Jackie Runs

Lazy Girl Adventures has become a hole of depressing mess, so now I have a new blog, all about my one true love,

RUNNING!

jackieruns.blogspot.com.au

Slack

Slack - meaning slowness, sluggishness, or lack of energy. Moderate in some quality.

Yeah boi. That's me - just call me Miss Moderate (my middle name is 'in some quality').

Needless to say I've ripped the damn rewards chart off the wall.

I promise I'm making a video TOMORROW. I will not fail you.

Until then here is a really old blog post from an old blog I used to write that has nothing to do with weight loss whatsoever! REFRESHING! It's also the origin of my profile picture.

Sorry for needlessly starting new paragraphs.

Seriously, I apologise.

Okay, I'm stopping.

Now. 

____________________________

I recently spent a year living in Florida and these are some real life questions I was asked by United States citizens during my time there:

“What does it feel like to come to a country where people wear shoes?”

“Were you amazed when you came here and saw electricity for the first time?”

“Why are you at war with New Zealand? You guys should stop bombing them, that’s so mean, they are a peaceful country.”

“OH MY GOD! HOW AREN'T YOU DEAD!? YOU SHOULD DEFINITELY BE DEAD BY NOW! AUSTRALIA IS SO DANGEROUS! WHY HASN’T A SNAKE/SPIDER/DROP BEAR/CROCODILE KILLED YOU YET!? IT’S A MIRACLE THAT YOU HAVE LIVED TO SEE YOUR TWENTIES! AUSTRALIA IS SOOOOOO DANGEROUS!”

The thing that the USA fails to realise is that they have JUST as many deadly animals as we do, maybe even more, they just aren't as cute. Let’s compare:

The main animal that they seemed to freak out so much about was crocodiles, and yet I was in Florida, where their football team is called the GATORS, because Florida has a lot of ALLIGATORS. Now I realise that crocodiles are generally considered more dangerous than alligators, but let’s be honest with ourselves, they are basically the same thing, and at least crocodiles don’t chill on the sides of the roads in major cities like alligators do in Florida.

Snakes and spiders were another one that got mentioned a lot, and I cannot deny that we have many many species of deadly snakes and spiders, but let’s think about this for a minute. The average human being is several times larger than any snake or spider that exists in Australia, however... America has bears.

Sharks are also a major concern to the average American tourist, yet you are 50 trillion times more likely to freeze to death in a blizzard or suffocate under a collapsed snowman in America than you are to be attacked by a shark in Australia*.

When we view the facts in a logical format such as this, it becomes obvious that when it comes to the country you are most likely to die a horrible painful death in, I think we’re pretty well tied.

So we’re all fucked and our best bet is probably to move to New Zealand, where there are no deadly animals, and all you have to worry about it the odd air raid by Australia.

*All blog statistics provided by the wonderful people at ’Convenient Statistics For You Weekly’.

3 X's mark the spot

Yes there are already 3 big crosses on my rewards chart.

Saturday
Sunday
Monday


I'm sure you know why some of them are there. I didn't vlog. I didn't blog, but worst of all, I binged. It started innocently enough on Saturday where I didn't do my SSS (I did do pilates though) and continued on with a large latte instead of a small one, 1 slice of pizza too many with my treat meal and a gin and tonic that was really not needed.

It rolled over to Sunday where I was good all day until I devoured half+ a block of Cadbury Marvellous. You know, the one with the little jelly and crunchie bits which is so good I actually made orgasm sounds when I bit into it.

In the scheme of things it was bad, but not the end of the world. I could easily have gotten back on track on Monday, and I  planned to, but then everything derailed. I didn't work out, and I ate. Constantly. All day.

I'm about to list every single thing I ate here to make it real to myself and to release the shame that one small girl could possible eat so much food.

Bircher muesli
Tin of tuna
Chicken and zuchini pita pocket
Greek yoghurt
Burgen bread toast with honey
Coconut and mango juice
Slice of strawberry and banana cake
Mountain bread cinnamon chips
Pita pocket with avocado and cheese
Infinite white tea with sugar
Infinite peppermint tea
More bircher muesli
Chocolate soy icecream
Tomato and gherkin toasted sandwhich x 2

Ugh, looking at that list makes me feel ill. This was a true binge. Not a 'I really feel like sugar so I will eat a bag of lollies and get on with my day' type binge. It was the kind of binge I haven't had for years. The kind of binge where you are so full you feel like you will throw up but you cannot stop eating. You don't even want to be eating anymore. It hurts, but you do it anyway. The kind of binge where it doesn't matter what you're eating, it's not for taste, so you make weird combinations of whatever you have around (hello, tomato and gherkin sandwiches?) you just so you have more food to eat. The kind of binge where you feel like you are trying to fill some huge, gaping hole somewhere in your soul.

It was that kind of binge.

Today I feel hungover. I feel entirely ashamed of myself and confused as to why this part of me has reared her ugly head when I have spent so many years, and so much time and energy, trying to lock her in her box back in the deep recesses of my mind.

That said, I also feel hopeful. Hopeful that the reflecting that this binge is causing me will also help me realise why I have been teetering on the brink of maintaining and gaining for so many weeks now.

I don't want to gain, and I don't want to binge. So I'm going to figure out how to stop.

I'll let you know when I figure it out.

Week 2 - Weekly Surprise

My 12WBT inspiration board:




Major themes:
Happiness
Love
Health
Family
Future
Money
Confidence
Career
Success
Fun

Kickoff!

Happy Monday lovely followers, and what a Monday it has been.

My day threatened to start off on the wrong foot. As soon as my alarm went off at 5:30am I though 'Euuughhhhhhhhhh, just 5 more minutes'. So I closed my eyes for 5 more minutes, then 5 more. Finally I managed to drag my ass out of bed but while getting dressed the sound of pouring rain was discouraging me, so I crawled back into bed.

Then I thought "WHAT THE HELL AM I DOING!? YOU DO NOT GET ABS FROM SLEEPING IN" And so I got back out of bed and braved the weather to walk the 1km to the gym. Apparently it wasn't actually POURING with rain, that was just in my mind (I'm quite the drama queen), it was drizzling slightly but it was actually quite refreshing.

Boy am I glad I got that monkey (though it felt more like a gorilla) off my back nice and early.

I did the Lean & Strong program first, minus the leg workouts, followed by a 4km run on the treadmill. In total I think it took me about an hour and 20 minutes. Mostly because I don't do a lot of weight training so I was spending time figuring out the best weights and reps to use.

The run was HARD. Really hard. I was watching the clock for the whole 26ish minutes. I was dripping sweat. The lady on the next treadmill kept looking at me with this worried 'are you about to die?' look. Clearly my fitness has dropped which makes me a bit sad, but at least I now know how quickly you can lose your fitness. Won't let that happen again!

Not sure why but now I am nursing the worlds worst headache. Not sure if it's related but I hope it goes away because I have a nice 6 hour shift at the gym tonight and I need to be perky.

When I get home I plan to take my before photos (and do my measurements), because I keep forgetting to buy a magazine. I'm still undecided as to whether or not I will post them here. We'll see.

This week is going to be hard. Until I get back into some kind of routine I'm going to be tired, hungry and grumpy, but I KNOW if I push on I will start to feel amazing.

Bring it.

Look mum, I made a vlog

Excuse the hair and face. I had just finished my fitness tests. 

Round 3 and my Round 2 roundup.

Yes, I did not meet my round 2 blogging commitments, I didn't meet a lot of my round 2 commitments actually, but I refuse to say the word 'failed'.

I didn't fail. I lived my life. I had a lot of fun along the way. Here is a brief mind-spew round up of what happened since you last heard from me:

Quit new job.
It sucked.
Boss was psycho.
Started my OWN company.
Got the go ahead to start a VERY COOL event.
Will announce that on this blog shortly.
Friend who did last round with me became my super cute boyfriend.
Very happy with him.
Happier than I have been with any other guy to date.
Turned 23.
Brother turned 21.
I planned his Mexican themed 21st.
Dad turned 49.
Grandparents had 50th wedding anniversary.
Boyfriend turned 23.
Heaps of friends had birthdays.
All these celebrations = a LOT of food.
Gained 4ish KGS.
Not unhappy about this.
Spent 3 weeks on crutches.
Wasn't injured - for a medical trial.
Lost a lot of muscle tone.
AM unhappy about this.
Lean and strong here I come.
Ran 14kms for Run 4 The Kids.
Never felt so amazing in my life.
Easter happened.
More food.
Learned to row!
On a boat!
IN A RIVER!
Loved it.
Considering singing lessons.
Except I'm tone deaf.
Took up baking again in a BIG WAY.
Learned to give away baking rather than eat it all.
Learned to love:
STEP
COMBAT
BOXING
Cut off all my hair.
Then dyed my hair blonde.
Then dyed my hair white.
Then put some purple in it.
Got a casual retail job until company can keep me in food and clothes.
Decided not to do a third round of Michelle Bridges 12WBT.
Signed up for a third round of Michelle Bridges 12WBT.
Learned nobody is perfect.
Not even the people who love themselves.
But they love themselves anyway.
And I can too.
Had a lot of fun at finale.
Got drunk.
Sorry to anyone who was subjected to it.
Decided to quit drinking.
Have so far stuck to my word.
Admitted my BIGGEST SECRET on the 12WBT forums.
And now here I am.

My next post will be a video!

When JFDI Fails

So, I finished week one of my new job.
Do I love it. Yes!
Did I train all week? No.

Why?

Because I don't have time!

I know, Mish's FAVOURITE EXCUSE. Everyone has time. YaddahYaddahYaddah, but my day looks like this.

5.30am - Wakeup
7.00am - Leave for train

9.00am - Arrive at work
5.30pm - Leave work
7.00pm - Get home
9.00pm - Bed
RINSE AND REPEAT

When the effingMcEFF am I supposed to work out? I tried to get up at 4.30am and train. Didn't happen. I tried to get the energy to run after work but I only have 2 hours to eat dinner and do whatever work I have leftover that I need to do at home. If I'm not in bed by 10 at the LATEST I struggle heaps the next day. I can't work out at lunch because I have so much to do that I work through it every day, and I can't see that changing anytime soon.

I DON'T HAVE TIME TO TRAIN.

JFDI isn't cutting it. I have no idea what to do, which sucks because since starting 12WBT the best thing I've gotten from it is 100% control over my life and my actions.

So I'm taking it back.

Every day I'm going to get up progressively 10 minutes earlier until I can wake up at 4.30 easily. I'll go out for a run every morning, just gradually lengthen them as I get more time. I will get out of the mindset that if I can't commit to an hour it's not worth trying at all. That's fucking ridiculous.

On Sundays I will start pre-cooking ALL my meals instead of just some so that I don't need to waste time cooking when I get home and I can get more work done and go to bed earlier.

I'm also going to get a PT to work out with on Saturday mornings to make sure I really smash each and every SSS. Since I don't have time to get to the gym I will be able to afford one so no worries there.

I will remember that there are lots of people on the program who have screaming babies to wake them up at night and still smash the early mornings sessions and that I have nobody to look after but myself and have the EASY END OF THE STICK.

I will also remember how far I've come and how I desperately do not want to gain weight, and even more than that, I don't want to lose my fitness. Who would have thought that fitness would become a priority over looks? Times have changed.

I'll update all y'all on Friday with my progress.

Now I'm off to introduce myself on the forums and pass out until another huge day tomorrow. Bring it.

Oh, The Places You Will Go

I used to give 'Oh, The Places You Will Go' by Dr Suess to people as presents, if they were going through a life changing period. For example I gave it to my little brother for his high school graduation, and yet, I have never owned my own copy.

I have, for a long time, believed that Dr Suess was secretly the wisest person in the world, and that he had unlocked the secret to life, and yet he hid his incredible genius behind whimsical poetry and quirky drawings catered to children, but which speak to adults in a profound way most would never admit.

Oh, The Places You Will Go, is a prime example of this theory.

It's been awhile since I thought of this book and it's particular relevance to life, which is unusual because the last few months have been some of the most transformational of my life and I feel like a much more free, confident and capable person.

This morning I was sitting in front of my computer half browsing facebook and half researching for my brand new job that I start tomorrow. It's a real life, grownup job that will put my degree to good use and will actually allow me to input my ideas and creativity into an event that is of a rather large scale. A rare find for a graduate. I was wondering if my new life would help me to be successful in the role. Help me to be pro-active and put myself out there, take risks and make mistakes but maybe, ultimately prove myself.

Failure is still something that scares me. A lot. This job is only garunteed until March, but if they like me, they will keep me. I want to be kept and work my way up. Find my place and get my hands dirty, sink my teeth into big projects and see my ideas come to life. Yet I couldn't stop thinking. Can I do it? For a long time I've been a meek person. I have a great work ethic and I work hard, but I've only ever had jobs where people say 'okay, go do this' and off I go and do it. Never have I had a role where I have input and have to make decisions, and while I know I have them in my head, can I fight the inner worries and make them come out my mouth?

"What if they think my ideas are stupid?"
"What if I'm so worried that they will think my ideas are stupid that I don't even say them and then they don't think I'm pro-active."
"What if I take on the task at hand and they think I'm incompetent for going about it in my own way."

"What if, what if, WHAT IF."

Then as I was scrolling through facebook, this video popped up on my feed.

I honestly believe the Universe brings you what you need, when you need it, no matter how big, or how small. You just have to listen to it.

Second Round Wagon Breakdowns

I've been trawling through the round 1 forums like nobody's business and I see a common thread. Lots of people say that they went amazingly in their first round, but then the wheels fell off.

It worries me, because I can see that this could happen to me, really easily.

The thing is I am currently 47.7kgs, and that is UNDERWEIGHT for me, and I'm starting not to like the way my body looks because it is a bit too thin. I don't look like a skeletor yet but I definitely want to maintain from here if not gain 1 or 2kgs.

As a result, I have stopped counting calories. I've still been sticking to the main principles. 3 meals + 3 small snacks a day, but instead of figuring out calories I just make sure it's healthy.

Today, for example, my food intake looked like this:

Breakfast: 3/4 cup of Special K + 1/3 punnet of raspberries + 1/2 cup of rice milk AND 1 slice of Helga's Light Rye toasted with a smear of vegemite

Morning Tea: 2 multigrain rice cakes with a smear of plum jam + peppermint tea

Lunch: Salmon patty and salad with spinach, tomato, olives and capers.

Afternoon Tea: 2 tablespoons of hommus with 1/2 red capsicum cut into sticks AND 1 tablespoon of hommus on a multigrain rice cake + peppermint tea

Dinner: Stirfry from Crunchtime Cookbook

Evening snack: 1 multigrain rice cake with a smear of plum jam + INFINITE AMOUNTS of peppermint tea

Man I ate a lot of rice cakes today....

Now this menu is not unhealthy, but I found myself reaching for things I probably didn't need. Grazing. I didn't need the rice cake with hommus. I just still felt like eating. I didn't need the rice cake with jam after dinner either, but I still did it.

Grazing on healthy things when you have some weight to gain is one thing, but I worry about it spiralling out of control. Sure, it's rice cakes now, but how long until it's hot chocolates... and then actual chocolate, and then Pringles, doughnuts and McDonald's thickshakes? Damn... what I wouldn't give for a huge, frosty chocolate thickshake right now.

Excuse me while I indulge in some food porn...

I know the first rule. Don't keep it in the house, and I don't, and I live alone so it's only here if I let it be. After Christmas I threw away all the chocolate in the house, even the Bertie Beetles I had been carefully rationing since the Ballarat Show when I got a showbag. I'm still mourning the loss of those, but I knew after letting myself relax a little at Christmas, rationing them would probably not be happening. It would be all or nothing, so into the bin they went.

I'm looking forward to a refresher on Mish's mindset lessons to be honest. I feel I've forgotten a lot of the stuff that I thought was permanently ingrained. I guess the bad habits were around longer, and they are fighting to be recognised again, but screw them. The good habits made me feel so much better about myself than they did!

Going to try and ignore my constant cravings until pre-season when I can get an injection of Mish's tough love.

Time to JFDI... and think of this photo every time I drive past a MickyD's

23kms for my 23rd Birthday

I have decided to travel a total of 23kms on my 23rd birthday which is on the 9th of March this year.

I promise that I will not stop until I have gone exactly 23kms.

In order to make sure I stay a woman of my word, I have decided to use this as an opportunity to raise some money for my favourite cause - The Good Friday Appeal. Since my birthday is only a month before Good Friday this is the perfect timing to raise some money to help some sick kids and a seriously amazing hospital.

So here is the deal:

I'm asking you, whoever you are, whether I know you or not, to buy a kilometre. You can buy it for any price you think is reasonable, as little or as much as you like. That kilometre will then be dedicated to you, and as the owner of that kilometre, you get to decide which activity I do to get through it. You may decide that you want me to bike it, power walk it, or get on the rowing machine. It's up to you (but please be kind... it is my birthday after all!)

How to donate?

http://www.everydayhero.com.au/twentythreefor23

Then keep reading this blog for updates. There will be a video of the event that I'm sure will be highly entertaining. My pain is your entertainment!

Kilometre Owners:

1. Shirlene D

2. Cathy A

3. Will M

4. RunMummyRun (Bike)

5. Marg M (Walk)

6. MookiMoohi

7. Lucy D

8. Simone W (Run)

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23.

Donation Goal: $230
UPDATED Donation Goal: $300

Donation Total Update: $270

11. Spend a day at the beach