When JFDI Fails

So, I finished week one of my new job.
Do I love it. Yes!
Did I train all week? No.

Why?

Because I don't have time!

I know, Mish's FAVOURITE EXCUSE. Everyone has time. YaddahYaddahYaddah, but my day looks like this.

5.30am - Wakeup
7.00am - Leave for train

9.00am - Arrive at work
5.30pm - Leave work
7.00pm - Get home
9.00pm - Bed
RINSE AND REPEAT

When the effingMcEFF am I supposed to work out? I tried to get up at 4.30am and train. Didn't happen. I tried to get the energy to run after work but I only have 2 hours to eat dinner and do whatever work I have leftover that I need to do at home. If I'm not in bed by 10 at the LATEST I struggle heaps the next day. I can't work out at lunch because I have so much to do that I work through it every day, and I can't see that changing anytime soon.

I DON'T HAVE TIME TO TRAIN.

JFDI isn't cutting it. I have no idea what to do, which sucks because since starting 12WBT the best thing I've gotten from it is 100% control over my life and my actions.

So I'm taking it back.

Every day I'm going to get up progressively 10 minutes earlier until I can wake up at 4.30 easily. I'll go out for a run every morning, just gradually lengthen them as I get more time. I will get out of the mindset that if I can't commit to an hour it's not worth trying at all. That's fucking ridiculous.

On Sundays I will start pre-cooking ALL my meals instead of just some so that I don't need to waste time cooking when I get home and I can get more work done and go to bed earlier.

I'm also going to get a PT to work out with on Saturday mornings to make sure I really smash each and every SSS. Since I don't have time to get to the gym I will be able to afford one so no worries there.

I will remember that there are lots of people on the program who have screaming babies to wake them up at night and still smash the early mornings sessions and that I have nobody to look after but myself and have the EASY END OF THE STICK.

I will also remember how far I've come and how I desperately do not want to gain weight, and even more than that, I don't want to lose my fitness. Who would have thought that fitness would become a priority over looks? Times have changed.

I'll update all y'all on Friday with my progress.

Now I'm off to introduce myself on the forums and pass out until another huge day tomorrow. Bring it.

Oh, The Places You Will Go

I used to give 'Oh, The Places You Will Go' by Dr Suess to people as presents, if they were going through a life changing period. For example I gave it to my little brother for his high school graduation, and yet, I have never owned my own copy.

I have, for a long time, believed that Dr Suess was secretly the wisest person in the world, and that he had unlocked the secret to life, and yet he hid his incredible genius behind whimsical poetry and quirky drawings catered to children, but which speak to adults in a profound way most would never admit.

Oh, The Places You Will Go, is a prime example of this theory.

It's been awhile since I thought of this book and it's particular relevance to life, which is unusual because the last few months have been some of the most transformational of my life and I feel like a much more free, confident and capable person.

This morning I was sitting in front of my computer half browsing facebook and half researching for my brand new job that I start tomorrow. It's a real life, grownup job that will put my degree to good use and will actually allow me to input my ideas and creativity into an event that is of a rather large scale. A rare find for a graduate. I was wondering if my new life would help me to be successful in the role. Help me to be pro-active and put myself out there, take risks and make mistakes but maybe, ultimately prove myself.

Failure is still something that scares me. A lot. This job is only garunteed until March, but if they like me, they will keep me. I want to be kept and work my way up. Find my place and get my hands dirty, sink my teeth into big projects and see my ideas come to life. Yet I couldn't stop thinking. Can I do it? For a long time I've been a meek person. I have a great work ethic and I work hard, but I've only ever had jobs where people say 'okay, go do this' and off I go and do it. Never have I had a role where I have input and have to make decisions, and while I know I have them in my head, can I fight the inner worries and make them come out my mouth?

"What if they think my ideas are stupid?"
"What if I'm so worried that they will think my ideas are stupid that I don't even say them and then they don't think I'm pro-active."
"What if I take on the task at hand and they think I'm incompetent for going about it in my own way."

"What if, what if, WHAT IF."

Then as I was scrolling through facebook, this video popped up on my feed.

I honestly believe the Universe brings you what you need, when you need it, no matter how big, or how small. You just have to listen to it.

Second Round Wagon Breakdowns

I've been trawling through the round 1 forums like nobody's business and I see a common thread. Lots of people say that they went amazingly in their first round, but then the wheels fell off.

It worries me, because I can see that this could happen to me, really easily.

The thing is I am currently 47.7kgs, and that is UNDERWEIGHT for me, and I'm starting not to like the way my body looks because it is a bit too thin. I don't look like a skeletor yet but I definitely want to maintain from here if not gain 1 or 2kgs.

As a result, I have stopped counting calories. I've still been sticking to the main principles. 3 meals + 3 small snacks a day, but instead of figuring out calories I just make sure it's healthy.

Today, for example, my food intake looked like this:

Breakfast: 3/4 cup of Special K + 1/3 punnet of raspberries + 1/2 cup of rice milk AND 1 slice of Helga's Light Rye toasted with a smear of vegemite

Morning Tea: 2 multigrain rice cakes with a smear of plum jam + peppermint tea

Lunch: Salmon patty and salad with spinach, tomato, olives and capers.

Afternoon Tea: 2 tablespoons of hommus with 1/2 red capsicum cut into sticks AND 1 tablespoon of hommus on a multigrain rice cake + peppermint tea

Dinner: Stirfry from Crunchtime Cookbook

Evening snack: 1 multigrain rice cake with a smear of plum jam + INFINITE AMOUNTS of peppermint tea

Man I ate a lot of rice cakes today....

Now this menu is not unhealthy, but I found myself reaching for things I probably didn't need. Grazing. I didn't need the rice cake with hommus. I just still felt like eating. I didn't need the rice cake with jam after dinner either, but I still did it.

Grazing on healthy things when you have some weight to gain is one thing, but I worry about it spiralling out of control. Sure, it's rice cakes now, but how long until it's hot chocolates... and then actual chocolate, and then Pringles, doughnuts and McDonald's thickshakes? Damn... what I wouldn't give for a huge, frosty chocolate thickshake right now.

Excuse me while I indulge in some food porn...

I know the first rule. Don't keep it in the house, and I don't, and I live alone so it's only here if I let it be. After Christmas I threw away all the chocolate in the house, even the Bertie Beetles I had been carefully rationing since the Ballarat Show when I got a showbag. I'm still mourning the loss of those, but I knew after letting myself relax a little at Christmas, rationing them would probably not be happening. It would be all or nothing, so into the bin they went.

I'm looking forward to a refresher on Mish's mindset lessons to be honest. I feel I've forgotten a lot of the stuff that I thought was permanently ingrained. I guess the bad habits were around longer, and they are fighting to be recognised again, but screw them. The good habits made me feel so much better about myself than they did!

Going to try and ignore my constant cravings until pre-season when I can get an injection of Mish's tough love.

Time to JFDI... and think of this photo every time I drive past a MickyD's

23kms for my 23rd Birthday

I have decided to travel a total of 23kms on my 23rd birthday which is on the 9th of March this year.

I promise that I will not stop until I have gone exactly 23kms.

In order to make sure I stay a woman of my word, I have decided to use this as an opportunity to raise some money for my favourite cause - The Good Friday Appeal. Since my birthday is only a month before Good Friday this is the perfect timing to raise some money to help some sick kids and a seriously amazing hospital.

So here is the deal:

I'm asking you, whoever you are, whether I know you or not, to buy a kilometre. You can buy it for any price you think is reasonable, as little or as much as you like. That kilometre will then be dedicated to you, and as the owner of that kilometre, you get to decide which activity I do to get through it. You may decide that you want me to bike it, power walk it, or get on the rowing machine. It's up to you (but please be kind... it is my birthday after all!)

How to donate?

http://www.everydayhero.com.au/twentythreefor23

Then keep reading this blog for updates. There will be a video of the event that I'm sure will be highly entertaining. My pain is your entertainment!

Kilometre Owners:

1. Shirlene D

2. Cathy A

3. Will M

4. RunMummyRun (Bike)

5. Marg M (Walk)

6. MookiMoohi

7. Lucy D

8. Simone W (Run)

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Donation Goal: $230
UPDATED Donation Goal: $300

Donation Total Update: $270

11. Spend a day at the beach